Mom-to-Mom Forum

I didn't start a blog to blab about myself. I started it to create community among mothers in the trenches. If there's a topic you want to chat about, please let me know here or send me an email or chat message. I put it all out there and sometimes I'm a little too honest, which can make some people uncomfortable. At least no one can see you blush in front of your computer screen. I'm trying to be real because there are enough "look how awesome I am" and "I have all the answers" blogs out there. I'm here spilling the beans and sharing my truth because I want moms to know that most of us actually don't have it altogether! Most of us are taking it one day at a time and learning from our mistakes. I'm here to build moms up with my truth. That's why I'm so embarrassingly honest about the ins and outs of my failures and fracasos. So, if there's an area you're struggling with as a mother, tell me, tell someone here, because chances are we're struggling with that too and could use all the advice and support we can get!

I could write a book on my approach to discipline, but one child has me stumped. I know what consequences will work for two of my girls, I know how their minds and emotions work, and I know how to reason with them. And then there’s my little enigma. 90% of the time I have absolutely no idea what goes on in her head. I don’t know how she’s going to react on any given day and I have yet to figure out what form of discipline works on her. I can’t even figure out her clothing style! I buy things I think she’ll wear only to find them crumpled in the back corner of the closet because she prefers a random, stained hand-me-down. Her personality is pretty much the opposite of me so I cannot figure her out and worrying about how to connect with her occupies half my brain at all times. She throws tantrums like a 2 year old even though she’s almost 5. She cannot handle pain, but has no problem inflicting pain on her sisters when she’s peeved. She will go berserk if I leave the house without saying bye and giving hugs and kisses, but she plays independently or with her sisters when I’m present. She cries equally hard about a paper cut, harsh word from a sister, and major spill on her bike- she only has one very high level of pain and accompanied screams. She could have a broken bone or a scraped knee but I can’t tell til I check it out because the cry is always one of absolute despair. And it takes anywhere from 10 minutes to 40 minutes to calm down from a screaming fit. I’ve tried preparing her by coming up with calming tactics for those times she feels out of control and she never uses them. And when she’s not having a moment or throwing a fit she’s the sweetest sister, most complacent, a great helper and wonderful company for running errands. When she throws a fit at home i put her in her bed and close the door if she’s screaming because I won’t give her any negative attention. But…we’re not always at home. And sometimes this happens at an activity or school. She loses control and refuses every soul, except Mama. But I can’t quell every storm for everyone. What calming tactics work for the child who can’t think straight because they’re so deep in their emotions? What consequence works for the child who refuses to finish their class? I never let them quit, we finish what we start, but it’s a little distracting to the rest of the group when my kid is having a meltdown and they’re blocking the balance beam. Who is this kid and how to I connect with someone so sensitive with such big emotions?